In the movie Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Kirk asks Spock how a ship full of cadets will react to an impending crisis. And Spock replies: “Each according to their nature.” That struck me at the time as kind and insightful. I now think it would make a pretty good corollary to the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But also: “Treating each one according to their nature.” And I would add: “As you understand it.”
What would this mean in real life? Well, you should expect from and condone the actions of, give to and take from, and treat as fully autonomous each person according to their nature as you understand it. This does not mean that you support, surrender to, or serve their every whim, desire, and action. But you are mindful of their wants and needs in the state and condition that they currently occupy. And you bear in mind also your understanding of their long-term strengths and weaknesses, as well as what certain traditions call a person’s “Buddha nature,” or the essence of their understanding as an enlightened being—or lack of it.
This means that you expect no more of a child than childish understanding, wants, and capabilities. You also expect no more of a proven fool—as you understand him or her to be from past words and actions—than they can give. You expect strength and endurance from the strong. You support and defend the frailty of the weak. You draw out the wisdom of the wise. You give scope to the compassionate person. You hold back your tolerance from a mean-spirited person. And you work to thwart the truly evil or cruel person—again, as demonstrated by his or her past actions—because he or she in turn works to do harm in the world.
Is that too much to ask of a person? Well, maybe. We are not all-knowing gods, after all. But maybe we’re the closest thing to that on this planet.